Tonight I opened up an old song book that dates back to 2010. The second page of, what was then a brand new journal, housed these lines:
A wasted page in an old notebookA piece of time somebody tookNot worth the effort it takes to lookIs that what this has come to?A shattered dream lost to the lightA prisoner of silent nightsTomorrow can’t make anything rightIs that what this has come to?
I remember the day I wrote those words. I was sitting in the car in a fairly empty parking garage I used to frequent on my lunch breaks and nothing was coming to me. I had written a couple lines and hated it. Had massive writers block. That’s when this poured out….a nod to my feelings of inadequacy in the moment. I was about to step into a full-time pursuit of songwriting and I couldn’t even get 4 lines out.
Fast forward almost 7 years and the words have taken on a whole new meaning for me. I was doing well pursuing songwriting and I put it on the back burner to focus on making money (that was kind of important at the time since we had none). Who knew it would go from the back burner to almost forgotten. I keep telling myself I can be a writer at any age…and that’s true…but I haven’t used the muscle regularly in years. It’s not conditioned to be the fearless rhymer it once was.
So today, I read these words and I wonder if this is what my dream has come to. Have I really let something I once loved so much, go? I mean, I still talk music and pick up the pen occasionally, but it’s not the dream. It’s not the machine it used to be. Are these words really just wasting the page of an old notebook that aren’t worth the time it takes to look through them? Obviously not or I wouldn’t be moved by them still today.
I can be a writer at any age. I think I’m going to be one now, at 37. What dreams have you let go of that are still within your reach? What’s one thing you can do today to grab hold of them once more — even if it’s just for old time’s sake? Do it!