Two years ago today (at the time of this writing), we lost my mother in law. She was a sweet lady with an infectious laugh and immeasurable love for her kids and grandkids. As this time approaches each year, I find myself thinking of how she’d want to be remembered. More specifically, how she wouldn’t want to be remembered.
It’s impossible to lose a parent and not mourn the loss with every reminder, but I think (in my limited experience on the subject) the only way to move beyond the pain is allowing yourself to revisit happy memories. And isn’t that how we’d all like to be though of … with a smile? When I go, I hope I’m lucky enough to leave behind a large group of family and friends who loved me so much it hurts to leave…. but I don’t ever want to be the reason they’re sad. I find such joy in making people laugh and feel good about themselves and I don’t want my legacy to be tears at the mention of my name. I don’t want people to memorialize the day I died as one of great sadness, but rather a celebration of the fact that I LIVED!
I can only guess as to what Sandy would want, but I would imagine she’d hate to see her children with broken hearts. I know they’ll never be fully mended, but I hope they find a lot more smiles than tears as the years go by and turn their great sadness into gratefulness for knowing a love that was SO worth missing.