As a married couple, it’s really easy to fall into being “ok” with not having sex as much as you’d like. Life is busy, you’re tired, stressed, fat, gassy, not in the mood, etc… and the whole “you’re my spouse and love me no matter what” thing takes away the pressure of feeling like you have to do it in order to keep up a certain… whatever. AND it doesn’t help that you sleep in the same bed every single night so it’s way too easy to say “we’ll do it tomorrow”. The problem is that “not as much as you’d like” turns into “not very often at all” and eventually to “rarely, if at all”. At least that’s how it happened with us.
On top of all of THAT, we’ve also had a pretty rocky relationship the last few years. Stress in the home is one thing, but stress between or as a direct result of the one you’re looking to share this intimate moment with …well, it just does not help. But one can help the other.
I have found that my wife likes me a whole lot more when we’re having sex regularly. We both feel more connected to the other, are satisfied physically and are more playful during the day knowing there’s actually a chance it could lead to something later. At one point in our relationship, we made a deal to do it at least once a week, regardless of if we wanted to or not. The result was doing it a lot more than once a week and we fought a lot less. At some point we forgot how great that idea was and went right back to “I’ll f*ck you when I like you again”.
But lately we’ve been revisiting the playful and tonight we rekindled a forgotten flame. Then, beyond the act, we sat and held each other for a while, talking casually. Another thing we’ve ignored. There’s something so special about being intimate that has nothing and yet everything to do with sex. When you let your wall down and let someone into your most private and vulnerable space, you connect with them on a level you can’t recreate in your regular every day interaction. It’s as if, for a while, you are one being that, when apart, searches for ways to get back together again.
I don’t know why I’ve gone into all of this detail other than to say, if you’re going through a dry spell of your own, send this to your love and remind them of why it’s important to get it on.